Seasoned With Grace
One of the things addressed by the Apostle Paul on various occasions (Eph. 4:29, Col. 4:6) is the character and content of Christian conversation. In Eph 4:29 he writes “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” And in Col. 4:6 he says, “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.” These two passages are grounded in the same truth. But rather than admonish Christians to take serious inventory of what they speak by simply saying the same thing in different ways, Paul presents two aspects of the same truth. “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth”, is a negative presentation Paul uses to call his readers to consciously avoid a particular type of communication. Corrupt conversation is to be avoided by pursuing good conversation and communication whose goal is the best interest of the object of that conversation. This indicates a great deal about what we should and should not say. John Gill comments on what is forbidden here, “unsavory speech, foolish talking, light and frothy language, that which is filthy, unprofitable, noxious, and nauseous and all that is sinful: such as profane oaths, curses, and imprecations, unchaste words, angry ones, proud, haughty and arrogant expressions, lies, perjury, etc…” Gill says such communication springs from a corrupt heart. Finally he says, “Wherefore a restraint should be laid upon the lips of men; men have not a right to say what they please; good men will be cautious what they say, otherwise their religion will be vain.” These are strong words making a strong point, particularly for a people that cherish free speech. As Christian citizens we realize the value of a government that does not place restrictions on what we can or cannot say. If we make threatening statements we may have to give an account for what we say. And if we speak falsely we may suffer consequences. But there is a necessary and noble difference between the freedom to speak and bearing the consequences of what we say. So as Christians we appreciate free speech but we also realize that our speech is subject to the standard of God’s Word. In Eph. 4:29 Paul prohibits corrupt communication because its’ aim is not at edifying or imparting grace to the hearer. This reinforces the adage that “If you can’t say something that is good, then don’t say anything at all.” Whatever the tone or nature of the exchange, we have to guard against corrupt communication escaping our mouths. Whether it is a heated dispute on points of deep disagreement or a casual conversation among friends, we must be careful to guard what we say. We have all put forth words that we either immediately or later wished we could take back. In some situations it may be more prudent to refrain from some comments even where societal norms would give us license The Apostle’s exhortation calls for forethought that can greatly reduce future remorse. So in this context what I mean by “Christian conversation” is not solely the conversation between Christians, but rather the communications from Christians regardless of who we are communicating with.
In Col. 4:6 Paul addresses the same issue from a somewhat different perspective. “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.” While in Eph. 4:29 the Apostle Paul tells us what to avoid when we speak; in Col. 4:6 he tells us what to strive for in our speech. John Gill’s comments on Col 4:6 suggest that Paul is proposing that grace should either be the subject of discourse between Christians or it refers to the manner in which we discourse. Given the context of Paul’s exhortation I believe he is primarily referring to the manner in which we speak; which would include our conversations with Christians and non-Christians. However, especially to edify our brothers and sisters in Christ by reducing the opportunities for ungodly or unprofitable exchanges, we should be aware of situations in which we are to limit our conversations. As John Gill states it is those situations in which “…all obscene words, unchaste expressions, filthiness, foolish talking and jesting, ought not to be used.” This is to be our guide in all of our conversations regardless of what we are talking about or to whom we are talking. To that end I would like to observe 3 things about Col 4:6
First – Paul indicates that grace should always guide our conversations, “Let your speech always be with grace.” This does not mean that grace or the doctrine of grace is all we talk about. But rather all of our conversations should be God-glorifying. We are all subject to slips of the tongue and being caught up in the moment. Even when we are careful and discreet our words can be twisted and misunderstood. James makes it clear when he says in James 3:2 “For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body.” James point is not that we all stumble in word and there’s nothing we can do about it, rather he is using our propensity to mis-speak as an incentive to be more cautious in what we say. In other words, the awareness of our past tendencies and future potential for corrupt communication should cause us to be more diligent in bridling our tongues. On every occasion we should make it our aim to sift our conversations through the filter of grace.
Secondly – Paul says that our words should be “seasoned with salt”. Salt was and remains both a preservative and a source of flavor. Likewise Christian conversation should preserve the dignity and integrity of our faith by providing a better flavor than the conversation of the ungodly. Our words, whether they are good or bad do have an impact. Therefore it should be the goal of every Christian to ensure that what we say is not only accurate but also an accurate reflection of the grace we have received. A discussion about last night’s basketball game does not have to evolve into an evangelistic enterprise, but the manner in which it is discussed should be consistent with our Christian character. When we neglect to make a conscious and continuous effort to season our words with grace we can all easily speak with carelessness and callousness. What we say to and about others matters – Therefore, the words that we speak and the spirit in which we speak them should be seasoned with grace.
Finally – Colossians 4:6 says, “…that you may know how you ought to answer each one”. I believe Paul’s point is that along with “grace and salt” Christian conversation should be marked by appropriateness. In other words, our communication with others should be appropriate to our respective roles, relationships, age, gender, marital status and position. We now live in a world where inappropriate communication abounds. To note a few – There is well documented sexual innuendo in the workplace, irreverent remarks about political leaders by comedians on television, and even graphic exchanges about body parts and bodily functions in movie dialogues. What used to be off limits or at least rude and impolite has gained wide acceptance. Talk radio “shock jocks” have led the way in this sad and corrupt communications’ trendy spread throughout our culture. They use and encourage their audience to use the phrases like “speaking honestly” or “openly and candidly” as thin veils to justify their contemptuous bombardment of others with what used to be considered tacky discourse. Crudeness, insolence and confrontational disrespect have displaced grace, restraint and appropriateness as the prevailing norm for communication now. Paul’s admonition “…that you may know how you ought to answer each one”, suggests that Christians should exercise discretion not only in what we say in general but also in the manner in which we converse in different contexts. Our conversation should be appropriate for the situation and the person to whom we are addressing. Don’t be deceived by the ways of the world, there is a need for caution and restraint in our discourse. What is acceptable to the world is not always appropriate for Christians.
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